Dyke of Konoha
by EspressoEmpress
Summary: What if the classic trio had one of its members replaced? This is Naruto without Sakura - instead, Team 7 has a different kind of girl. No love triangle. No smut. No pauses in fights for exposition. This is a story of BrOTPs, streamlined canon, and a young girl's sexuality. OC. Rated M for language. Hika has the mouth of a ninja-sailor.
1. Survival Test

Now, the worst way to start a story is to say "this all happened because". It's condescending and lacks creativity. It's a cop-out. Stories should be about the story, not about spelling things out for your audience.

That being said, I don't think I can start mine any other way. I've never been very good at beginnings.

This all happened because I don't like Sakura. She's the token _girl_ of the trio, easily the least important of the three - ignoring all the development she gets 300+ chapters in (because any development at that point isn't worth waiting for). I don't hate her; I was always "meh" about her.

So, there's the context. Let me explain the title. This is Naruto without Sakura - she still exists in the village, she just isn't on Squad 7, or really any team. Instead, there's a different girl on Squad 7. I won't put up any pretense: she's basically me. My self-insert character. Hika Korin - a Leaf shinobi without much of a heritage.

Hika is basically me if I had grown up in Konoha. You might think this sounds a little conceited. You'd be right.

Being me, Hika is also gay. I wrote this story to explore how Konoha, as a reflection of modern Japan's values and principles, would treat her, and how it would affect the general storyline of the series.

Also, fair warning, this is a BrOTP story. There is no smut, and there is very limited romance (what little there is comes later). It is about wholesome, healthy friendships that develop, get brutalized, and eventually heal. Enjoy.

P.S. Because I'm lazy, it will closely follow canon in the beginning. The second part, Shippuden, will involve a more realistic view of the Akatsuki and will likely split from the canon. Provided I get enough feedback and can be bothered to write it, it'll become evident that this fic is more of a prequel than a one-shot. As a result, I might see fit to skip around in the story to expedite matters.

And now, just a smidge of background.

* * *

><p>"Inoue," I screamed, livid and inches from his face, "you're a damned coward." Inoue was terrified of me, and for once, it didn't bug me.<p>

"We - we never would've passed," he stammered out, giving me the look that I hated, his idiotic "puppy dog" face. As if that would make me go easy on him.

"You don't know that! You didn't give us a chance! You didn't believe we could do it!" I shouted, waving my arms around. I was pretty sure I was spitting at that point.

"He was worried about the team," Ato stepped in, putting an unwelcome hand on my shoulder. I shook it off.

"If he hadn't raised his hand, we would still be in there. We could've failed. And we would've been stuck as genin for the rest of our lives," Ato reasoned in his insufferable "reasonable" voice. They didn't get it. Inoue didn't have the… the _spark_.

"You guys will never be chunin," I spat at them, "You don't have the guts."

"Shinobi don't need guts," Ato said, "We need smarts. We need to know when to back down. It's all about picking the right fights."

"There's a difference between knowing when to back down and being a coward." He didn't trust me - even worse, he thought he'd done me a favor. If he hadn't raised his hand, we'd have had to bear the shame equally - now, it was all on him. I almost felt sorry as I sucker punched him in the gut.

I turned my back as Ato fussed and chastised me. I was sick of his sanctimonious "do what's right for the team" attitude. I was sick of Inoue trying to justify his fear by pretending he was selfless instead of spineless.

I walked away right then, went right to my sensei and asked for a transfer.

* * *

><p>"He's late."<p>

Naruto had half his body out of the room, head whipping back and forth in a blur of yellow.

"Take a chill pill, Naruto," I said, even as he brought over a stool and wedged an eraser in the door, "That kinda thing can get you in trouble." _And us._

"That's what he gets for being late," he jumped down, "Surprise!"

I smirked. I liked pranks - well, I liked pulling them. Not so much getting them. I wasn't sure if our sensei had a sense of humor, so I was a little worried. But then, everyone could stand to loosen up a bit. One guy in particular…

"Our teacher's a jonin, an elite ninja. You really think he'd fall for something like that?" Sasuke didn't seem capable of losing the attitude.

A hand grabbed the door and pushed it open. The eraser dropped. It bounced off a silver head and fell to the ground. The guy, presumably our new sensei, stooped to pick it up, then straightened. I almost laughed. I couldn't see three-fourths of his face. His black eye looked disinterestedly at the eraser.

"Hm, how can I put this?" he put a hand to his chin, "My first impression of this group - you're a bunch of idiots."

My stomach took a dive.

"Oh well," I grimaced. Of course, the guy had let it hit him. He was pretty aloof; not very punctual. He was powerful. Probably.

"Let's take this outside."

* * *

><p>"I'm Kakashi Hatake. Things I like and things I hate… I don't feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future… never really thought about it. As for my hobbies, I have lots of hobbies."<p>

It was all I could do to not start laughing. I settled for a snort.

"Well, at least we know your name," I said sarcastically.

"Okay then, you first," he replied, and my heart skipped a beat. This was the first time a jonin had ever addressed me so casually. I cleared my throat a little to hide my distress. For a split second I forgot how to speak.

"I'm Hika Korin," I said, "I like…"

I swallowed hard; maybe it wasn't safe to divulge that yet. I changed my answer.

"I like sitting under the stars at night. I hate the summer heat. My dream for the future… to be a jonin, I guess. My hobbies… writing and drawing."

Kakashi's eye bored into mine. He gave me a merciful nod, and for a second he didn't look tired.

"Alright, you next."

"Believe it! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I like instant ramen in a cup, but I hate the three minutes you have to wait for the water to heat up. My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them. And my dream is: to be the greatest Hokage! Then everyone in the village will have to stop disrespecting me and start treating me like I'm somebody - somebody important!"

I smiled and pat him on the back. He gave me a wide grin and fixed his headband.

"Alright, next."

I sniffed.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan, and destroy a certain someone."

The silence that followed his melodramatic statement was tangible. I ran a hand through my brown-blond hair. Sasuke was an emo twerp and a drama queen, but there was something about his attitude that tempered my irritation. It was a little too real, too serious to be an idle boast; Naruto was the same. They were both so honest because they knew who they were. Suddenly I felt stupid for saying that I wanted to be a jonin. I felt like I wasn't aiming high enough.

"Good. You're each unique and you have your own ideas. Meet back here tomorrow for your first mission."

_I guess our sharing session is over._

"What are we going to do?" I asked. Kakashi pondered that for a moment. He crossed his arms, looked down.

"It's something that the four of us will do together."

"So - what kind of mission is it going to be?" Naruto asked.

_I just asked that. Pay attention._

Kakashi started to laugh, which was creepy.

"Uh, sensei, when you laugh at a normal question like that, it's not very reassuring." I wasn't embarrassed that I sounded nervous.

"Sorry," he said, clearly not sorry, "It's a survival exercise. But see, if I tell you any more than that, you won't like it."

"Tell us," Naruto whined. Suddenly I really didn't want to know; I'd agonize over it all night and wouldn't get any sleep.

"Of the 27 graduates who just came here, only nine will be accepted as genin. The others will be weeded out and sent back to the academy. In other words, this is a make-it or break-it pass/fail test and the chance that you'll fail is at _least _66 percent."

He let that hang in the air for a moment while Naruto started to strangle himself. I was confused.

"See? Didn't I tell you you wouldn't like it?"

"But what was that graduation exam even for?!" Naruto shouted. It was disrespectful, but I could relate. I rose a hand to add to Naruto's outburst.

"Also, sensei, I'm already a genin," I said, cautious of the rather large minefield I was walking into, "What'll happen to me?" The obvious question under that was: _If I fail, will I be flushed?_

"Yes, Urume-sensei did mention that when he arranged your transfer. You passed his test, but then, I'm not anything like Urume-sensei. You're in the same boat as these two- you fail, you start over at the academy."

I couldn't stop a "shit" from escaping my mouth as the air started to force itself down on my ears. I could've sworn Kakashi cracked a smile at my curse.

"As for the exam, that was just to filter out the hopeless cases. We put it there to judge which students might become genin - or not."

Naruto was distraught. Sasuke sat stoic as usual, but I saw an extra wrinkle in his forehead. As for me… I'd heard from Urume-sensei that Kakashi was tough, but fair; he failed a lot of kids, and that was par for the course. Not everyone is cut out to be a genin. But it raised a sticky question for me: was I really good enough to be a genin? I had been good enough for Urume-sensei, but then Kakashi said he wasn't anything like Urume-sensei. He'd made that clear already. If Urume-sensei's methods were orderly and kind, Kakashi's were his polar opposite. If I passed _his_ test, would I somehow be a _better_ genin than before? I didn't know. I liked my new team so far (well, I didn't hate them at least), and I didn't want to be the only fourteen-year-old academy student in my class.

"Oh and, tomorrow? You'd better skip breakfast, otherwise… you'll puke."

Kakashi went up in a puff of smoke. I'd been so distracted that I jumped and gave a little gasp.

"He split," I said, indignant, "The sneaky bastard." Naruto nodded in agreement. I realized Sasuke had vanished along with our sensei.

"And the twerp's gone too."

Naruto looked sick all of a sudden. I got the impression he didn't know how to talk to a girl.

"Hey, Hika?" he asked, "You're a genin?" I nodded. He set his face into a fierce smile.

"That's so cool! I bet you know all sorts of jutsu! Well, do you?"

"Well, yeah; basic stuff, you know. Clones. Transformation. I'm good with paper bombs."

His eyes glimmered at me and I felt self-conscious.

"But I can't throw shurikan for shit, so I'm not much of a distance fighter."

"Oh so you go up close and personal - real hand-to-hand combat, huh? Like super-taijutsu?"

"I guess," I said, running my hand through my hair. I adjusted my headband, "I'm pretty worried about tomorrow, though; I don't want to fail."

Naruto looked down, and for a second I thought I'd said something wrong, but then he looked up.

"I don't either. Going back to the academy would be awful. So, let's not fail!"

* * *

><p>The next morning, the image of Naruto's fearless smile still hovered in front of me, like a shield. I rolled out of bed and opened my closet. I pulled out a navy blue one-piece and stuck my feet through the legs. I pulled it over my shoulders. I looked at myself in the mirror, frowned, and whipped out a lime green scarf. I tied it around my waist. It brought out my eyes. I smiled and left the house.<p>

Sasuke was already at the training ground when I got there, statuesque and brooding as usual. I stood, back to him, and took a granola bar from my knapsack.

"He told us not to eat breakfast," Sasuke said quietly. Taken aback by his sudden statement, I continued eating.

"This isn't breakfast," I replied coolly, "It's a snack. I have another one; you're welcome to it."

"Ch," came his gruff response. I ate the first one in silence and pocketed the second. Naruto staggered into the clearing a minute later, still half asleep, a pearl of drool dribbling down his chin.

"G'morning sunshine," I said, hands tucked in my pockets.

"Mornin'," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

It was stupid to think that Kakashi would be on time, but I don't judge people based on first impressions. He seriously disappointed me on his second impression, though. We got there at five in the damn morning. He got there at _nine_ in the goddamn, fucking, shitting morning.

"About damn time," I said.

"We've been waiting for hours!" Naruto shouted.

"Sorry I'm late, a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way," he said. He made a show of being abashed that I didn't believe for a millisecond.

After our anger subsided, Kakashi gave us the rundown on our so-called "mission". He set up a timer and jingled a pair of bells in front of us.

"Your task is very simple. You just have to take these bells from me. That's all there is to it." I doubted it would be simple at all.

"If you can't get a bell by noon, you'll go without lunch. You'll be tied to that post and you'll watch while I eat my lunch in front of you."

I was honestly curious about what his face looked like under the mask, but I decided it wasn't worth being demoted. Sasuke and I nodded.

"Wait, but, why are there only two bells? There are three of us," Naruto said.

"So glad you can count, Naruto. See, two bells ensures at least one of you will be tied to the post and ultimately fail the mission. That one goes back to the academy." My mouth dropped open.

"You're pitting us against each other," I said indignantly. Kakashi just looked at me.

"Ninja each have to be efficient on their own. You should expect to have to defeat someone like me on every mission. How much do you three value your futures as ninja?"

Kakashi let the question hang in the air, like a fly I really wanted to smack. Because he had a point; when push came to shove, all that really mattered were our own lives. How we lived them was up to us, and no one else.

"You can use any techniques or weapons, including shurikan. If you aren't prepared to kill me, you won't be able to take the bells."

I didn't doubt that I could take a bell, under the right circumstances, it just didn't seem dangerous enough. I didn't know if I could summon 100 percent of my effort against my new sensei, who seemed so blase about the whole thing; also, moment of total honesty, I didn't believe he could beat us.

"Well that shouldn't be too hard, especially since you couldn't even dodge that eraser," Naruto laughed.

"Class clowns are usually the weakest link. You can safely ignore them. Lowest scores. Losers. You can begin when I say 'start'."

I felt a pang of sympathetic anger for Naruto, and I was about to unpack my opinions on verbal abuse when the blot of orange in my peripheral vision rushed at Kakashi, kunai in hand.

"I'm going to crush you!"

What happened next was a blur of motion, a flicker so quick my eyes strained to catch it.

Our sensei caught Naruto's wrist and now stood behind him, having twisted his arm to aim the kunai at the back of Naruto's own neck. They were perfectly still, and the next words Kakashi spoke were so serious I felt my body racked with chills,

"Don't be in such a hurry. I didn't say 'start' yet."

A dangerous edge hummed in his voice, which sounded almost playful when mixed with his trademark nonchalance. I knew with unsettling certainty that he wasn't messing around. He hid his advantage under a mask of casualness, and invited his opponents to become overconfident. It had worked - at least, it had on me. He was a jonin, that couldn't be disputed.

"But," he continued, drawing out the pause for dramatic effect, "you came at me with the full intent of destroying me, so, what can I say? I'm actually starting to like you guys."

I huffed out a chuckle; maybe he'd have more trouble failing us, now that we were growing on him. Kakashi released Naruto, who had a deep frown in his eyebrows.

"The test will begin on the word 'start'. Ready?" he said, and my heart lurched downward, "_Start!_"

I bolted into the trees, head and heart pounding in unison like a Taiko ceremony. My vision frayed at the edges and focused to a single point, like I was flying low down a narrow corridor. I leapt over a bush and landed hard on my feet. The impact jarred my jaw. I stilled, hand over my mouth, certain that my pulse could be heard from miles away. He'd find me sitting on my ass, cramping up my muscles while sucking my thumb in the fetal position.

My mouth felt dry. I tried not to think about how much I was sweating; I strained to remember if I'd put on deodorant that morning. If I hadn't, he would find me because I stank; if I had, he'd find me because I smelled like Lotus and Vanilla Bean Blossom. I breathed deep and slow through my fingers, eyes wide and tearing, ears perked. I jumped with every leaf twitch, every wisp of wind, every creak of bowing tree, anything that bore even a shadow of a resemblance to a ninja's footstep. A bead of sweat rolled down my forehead. I silently prayed that he would go after Sasuke first. Not very sportsmanlike, but then, Sasuke was no prize in that department either. I put my free hand on my shurikan holster, more out of comfort than as a precaution. I had 'terrible coordination with projectiles', according to Urume-sensei, and Kakashi was a jonin. Shurikan wouldn't help me here.

"Ninja must learn to conceal their movements and hide effectively," Kakashi mused loudly in the clearing. I twisted my head, carefully, slowly, painfully around to peer through the leaves. Kakashi's eyes drifted over me like a sifting veil; either he hadn't seen me, or he had and respected that I'd picked a decent hiding spot. I knew it was the latter, but my mind held onto the first option in its frenzied state. Maybe, just maybe, he hadn't seen me and I was safe for now.

* * *

><p>Naruto was lucky I liked him, or I'd have thought he acted like a real dumbass for challenging Kakashi to a mano-a-mano melee. I don't know what I expected - actually, I lie, I expected him to lose, but that wasn't the point; he did lose, thanks to a well-placed substitution jutsu, and a taijutsu technique that probably qualified as sexual assault. But it surprised me that he lasted as long as he did; his Shadow Clone jutsu impressed me - I could only make two, three tops - and he had a streak of blind recklessness that I wished I could emulate (unfortunately, basic common sense and social etiquette bound me to forever act polite and courteous to the people I murdered).<p>

That being said, I did do a little facepalm when Naruto went for that bell. I saw the trap coming. I staved off laughter as his foot was snapped up and he bounced around comically, dangling from the tree like a very orange, very angry banana.

"Think before you use a jutsu," Kakashi said wearily, stooping to pick up the bell, "or your opponent might use it against you. Oh and also, if the bait is obvious, don't take it."

"I - get - it," came Naruto's disjointed cries as he bounced up and down on the rope.

"I'm telling you this because you don't get it. You think you get it, which is not the same as actually getting it. Get it?"

"When did this turn into a sit-com?" I muttered before I could reign in the treacherous words. Kakashi's head turned, and for a horrifying second I thought he'd heard me, when I realized he'd turned right into a barrage of kunai and shurikan. _Sasuke._ Sasuke had seen that Naruto had distracted him and taken advantage of it. I'd have applauded him if Kakashi hadn't gone up in smoke and left a log in his place. Knowing that I was better off safe than sorry, I decided to change venues.

I whipped my head back around to find that my personal space bubble had been invaded by another presence - I felt my heart physically drop several inches as I processed (embarrassingly slowly) that sensei's face was only inches from my own. I felt another burst of adrenaline shoot into my chest as I made a very un-ninja-like sound along the lines of, "GAAGZHIT", and I dove headfirst out of the bush, into the clearing, and somersaulted into a fighting stance. I was hyper-aware of the twitching tendons in my thighs, my biceps, my eyelids. I ground my teeth. Kakashi emerged from the forest's threshold, book in left hand, right hand in pocket.

He would never attack first. He didn't need to, not when we were in the time crunch. I swallowed hard. I'd have to do it. I'd have to throw the first punch. After that, I told myself, it'd be smooth sailing. Either I'd get a bell, or he'd take me down painlessly. I hoped.

I inhaled through my nose, filled my lungs, and exhaled, bringing my arms up and down as I did so. I felt my cheeks flush. Suddenly I was onstage, performing in front of an audience whose eyes were held captive by - well, "smut" is the _delicate_ term. I was less enthralling than smut. My future, to him, appeared less important than a pervert's words in a 10 cent novella. So I did what I always did when I was frustrated and crushed by hopelessness.

I shut my eyes and punched.

* * *

><p><strong>EDIT: Title has changed, and foreword has been adapted to fit.<strong>


	2. Can it, Kakashi!

Urume-sensei used to tell me that it was ridiculous - just _stupid_ to fight with my eyes closed. That stopped the first time I pinned him without opening them. It was my way of raising the stakes on my own terms. The world wasn't going to accommodate me, and my fear wouldn't leave with some desperate hope.

Since Kakashi had given me a handicap by keeping one hand on his book, I evened the odds. I shut my eyes. I wouldn't let him insult me, not without doing the same. Humiliation is a double-edged sword.

So. My blind punch took him off guard. He blocked it with his palm and grunted in surprise. I felt my spirits rise a little as I twisted and aimed my other fist down - possibly toward his gut. I threw and collided with his knee. Knowing I'd broken my knuckle, I hissed in pain and shifted my weight to my back foot. I put my front foot on his stomach and pushed. We slid apart, sandals sliding over grit. I heard the bells jingle.

I sunk to one knee and caressed my hand, now warm and tingling- it'd go numb in a minute. My eyes were still shut, not that they'd be much use to me now - they were watering. A sob was coming on. I breathed. Once. Twice -

"Why do you have your eyes closed?" Kakashi asked. I could hear him about twenty paces away.

"That book," I snarled. I could _hear_ his eyebrows go up.

"If you're gonna read, I'm gonna shut my eyes - that's fair, right?" I spat. I drew air in sputtering stops and starts; the pain spread up my arm, like it was slowly sinking into boiling water. I stood.

"Not really," Kakashi replied, "You're not quite up to my level yet, I'm afraid. If you're looking for fair, well-"

"-I came to the wrong place?" I interrupted, "Good one, sensei, I've never heard that one before."

I could chock that comment up to pain-induced delirium later. His silence egged me on.

"I mean, people have been saying that forever. "Life isn't fair." How many times have _you_ heard it?" I accused, only half meaning it. I rambled on,

"Did you even stop to think how insulting it is - to be upstaged by a fucking - by "Icha Icha"? Like - like knowing all that matters to you is a damned erotic novel? I guess our futures are so unimportant that you can't be bothered to care."

I knew it was a strategy, of course - that he did all he could to provoke us into attacking. And I knew that we passed or failed on our own, and he took the place of the messenger. But right then, I seethed, and it pumped me up. I really wanted to shoot that messenger.

I snapped my pack open and pulled out my boxing tape. My hand shook beyond my control now. I was seized by a sudden fear that Kakashi had left; this fear was silenced when his voice, strangely quiet, said,

"Hika, I'm not patronizing you. I'm using a tactic. In a situation like this, you can't afford to feel victimized, or it'll cloud your judgment."

That made my eyes snap open. I stood there in stoic shock for a good ten seconds.

"You know, it's funny how when my mom says that, it doesn't sink in, but when you say it, suddenly…" I trailed off. I wiped my tears with my good hand.

"I never liked crying," I muttered, which seemed like a _non sequitur_, but Kakashi let it pass. I brought the tape around my index finger and came very close to screaming when I felt a piece of bone move, detached, inside my skin. I wrapped several times, bit the tape, and started on my other hand.

"You should've done that beforehand," he said wryly. I agreed with him. I should've put on boxing tape _before_ punching my sensei in the kneecap. It wasn't that I had too much pride and thought I could take him down with a bare-knuckle brawl; I expected him to go easy on us, to show some restraint, but clearly he wanted us to prove how strong we were. We wouldn't give 110 percent if Kakashi went easy on us.

To my surprise, he put away his book.

My shoulders slumped. The adrenaline seeped out of my bloodstream. I sighed and, despite myself, launched a punch with my unsullied hand. A tired punch was better than no punch. Right?

I hit air. It had a certain irony; now that I fought with my eyes open, I couldn't hit him. He'd vanished. One second he'd been there, the next he had gone, not even a halfhearted puff of smoke. I spun around ungracefully, looking for the familiar sprout of silver hair to no avail.

"Down here," came a muffled voice, as a hand burst from the ground, wrapped around my ankle and pulled me under. In a flurry of dust and gravel he buried me from the neck down - in the ground. Kakashi squatted on the surface in front of me. I squirmed and wriggled my body, but I was well-stuck.

"Earth-style: Headhunter Jutsu. Can't move, huh? That was ninjutsu, the third shinobi battle skill," he said, dripping with so much smug I could've wrung him out like a dishtowel and filled up a bucket.

"You were talking about "fair" just a second ago," I said, failing to make air-quotes. I pointed a glare at him.

"Ninjutsu _is_ fair in ninja battles, last time I checked," he said, taking out his book again.

"Urume-sensei was right to transfer you; your squad didn't work well together. But I can't see this one being much better for you," he said. As he walked away, I had an epiphany.

"Holy shit- YOU BASTARD!" I screamed, unable to contain my rage. Kakashi didn't turn back. I don't think he even blinked.

"That's the point, isn't it?" I said, quieter this time, "I get it."

I heard a distinct, irritating ringing, and I knew we'd all lost. My heart skipped.

"No!" I had just figured it out, the point of the exercise; I wouldn't have if Kakashi hadn't dropped the hint, but I was still more enlightened than my teammates.

Footsteps approached my position and I twisted my head around - a surprised Sasuke. He stopped.

"Kakashi?"

"Headhunter jutsu," I explained, and his face cleared, "Did you hear the timer go off?"

"Yeah. You didn't get a bell?"

I shook my head, surprised that he asked. I didn't think he held my abilities in such high esteem.

"Me neither," he said, looking down, nose wrinkling in disgust.

"Hey, could you get me out?" I pressed. Not that I didn't feel like bonding with Sasuke by being broody, but I didn't feel like spending the rest of the day trapped in a hole in the ground. He obliged and dug me out. Exchanging meaningful looks, we silently decided to trudge back to the posts, bearing the weight of failure around our shoulders as we walked.

* * *

><p>Naruto was tied up already. The rumbling of his stomach greeted our approach and we sat down on either side of him. We were facing a disappointed jonin and, behind him, a large, obsidian stone.<p>

"Sorry, Naruto," I said. The poor guy had already exhausted himself by spending chakra on shadow clones, and he hadn't eaten anything today. I still had a granola bar in my pack, and maybe-

"Stomach's growling, huh?" Kakashi said, "That's too bad."

I scowled, sick of his attitude. A sensei wasn't supposed to act like this. They were supposed to care about their students, encourage them to succeed, not discourage them from failing. Failing was a good and healthy necessity of life, but Kakashi made me feel ashamed for not getting a bell.

"So, I've decided that I won't send any of you back to the academy."

In the pause that followed, precisely three things happened at once: 1. I realized Kakashi's manner of speaking was way too uncharacteristically cheerful, so this meant bad news. 2. Naruto started to celebrate and struggle against his bindings. 3. I glanced at Sasuke and blinked twice. A signal in case this turned out to be a trap.

"So that means all three of us - I mean, all three of us -"

"Yes," Kakashi said, "All three of you are being dropped from the program. _Permanently_."

I'd seen it coming, at least a little bit, but poor Naruto was taken so off-guard I felt genuine hatred for Kakashi.

"But - but why?" Naruto cried.

"Because you don't think like ninja. You think like little kids - like brats."

Sasuke, usually the level-headed one, apparently didn't take too well to being called a brat and took the chance to charge. I didn't know what he planned to accomplish, but if it was "get pinned by Kakashi in the most humiliating way possible", he did a bang up job. Kakashi took him down in half a second and rested his foot on Sasuke's head.

"_You _don't know what it means to be a ninja - you think it's all a game, don't you?" I considered an attack right then, because Sasuke occupied his attention, but I rethought that strategy when I realized Kakashi's mood had shifted. Suddenly his tone carried a biting hostility, like we'd gotten on his last nerve. He'd shed his casual outer layer only to reveal he really did care, not about us, but about the lesson he was trying to teach us. I felt intensely proud that I understood why he was so pissed off, and also embarrassed that I hadn't thought of it sooner.

"Why do you think we put you on squads? Do you stop to think about that for one moment?" he asked, and it sounded like he said it through gritted teeth. I mustered up some scraps of courage in my stomach.

"Yeah," I said quietly, and his eye rolled to me, "The goal - we had to work together, right? And - well, we failed pretty badly." Kakashi looked a little surprised beneath the annoyance.

"No student I ever tested could grasp that concept," he said, "To work as a group, as one cohesive whole, should be a shinobi's first instinct. It's so basic. If you can't understand teamwork, you'll never cut it as a ninja. It's one thing to know it, but to use it effectively is another thing entirely.

"Naruto," Kakashi said, like he was accusing a criminal, "you do everything on your own. Everything. Even if it means hurting the team, you have to be the best."

He turned to me, and my chest went cold.

"Hika. You let your fear and pride cloud your judgment. If you hadn't tried to "insult" me by closing your eyes, you wouldn't be sitting there with a broken hand."

_Oh yeah…_ I looked down. I hadn't noticed the growing discomfort of the injury - it had swelled inside the bandage, and now it was impossible to ignore.

"By all means, insult your opponent if it gives you the upper hand, but don't do it because you feel belittled."

I took his words to heart like a dagger in the chest, but he couldn't destroy the small shred of pleasure I'd gained from getting the mission goal right.

"And Sasuke. You thought the others were so far beneath you that they weren't worth your time. You were so arrogant that, even though you can do an adequate fireball jutsu, you still couldn't beat me. Do you guys get it yet?" he asked us all, "Do you see how, if you'd all been working together, you might have been able to beat me?"

"Even though you're a jonin," I said.

"Even though I'm a jonin."

"But then, why two bells?" I asked, "Even if we'd beaten you and taken the bells, only two of us would've passed."

"Exactly. I wanted to see if you could put your individual goals aside for the good of the team." I vaguely remembered the term "superordinate goal" from a Psych class.

Kakashi snapped open his pack.

"If a team can't work out its differences, people get distracted; they move a little slower, or they use the wrong technique at the wrong time; the team fails and someone winds up dead. For example," he twirled a kunai around his finger, "Hika, kill Naruto now or Sasuke dies!"

I stiffened with fear, but after a second Kakashi resumed speaking,

"That's how it is. You're on a mission, the enemy takes a hostage, and you have to make an impossible choice."

He let Sasuke up and turned his back to us. He walked to the black stone, shaped like a prism on its side. Names were etched in its surface. Instantly, I knew-

"On every mission, your life is on the line. Did you look at this stone? The names engraved in it?" He spoke deliberately, and his bitterness made a wave of sadness wash over me. "These are the names of our village's greatest heroes."

"That's it that's it that's it!" Naruto shouted. For once, I didn't find his boisterous attitude endearing.

"I've decided I'm gonna have my name engraved on that stone! I'm not going to live and die for nothing like a dog! I'm gonna be a hero!"

Kakashi turned his head a little. I didn't have the heart to say what had to be said. I stared at the grass.

"They are a special kind of ninja," Kakashi said, "They're all KIA."

"Oh that sounds cool!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Naruto," I said. I kept my voice low and eyes angled downward. "They were Killed In Action. It's a memorial stone."

Kakashi bowed his head.

"They gave their lives for the village," I said.

"The names of my closest friends are written here." Kakashi brought a hand to his headband, a gesture I didn't fully understand.

Naruto realized his mistake and his face twisted with regret, but I didn't look at him. Kakashi stood still as a statue.

"I'm going to give you three another chance," he relented. My heart lifted, but his voice was still distant, as though he drifted between bad memories. "The rules are harder this time around. No one gives food to Naruto, and no one unties him. It's his punishment for trying to eat alone. Break the rules_ this_ time and you really will pay for it."

"Sensei," I started. Naruto overrode me,

"Alright! Thanks, sensei! You won't regret this!"

Kakashi didn't respond, he just left with a puff of smoke.

"Naruto," I warned, "Don't do that again."

"Do what?"

"Were you paying attention? He was talking about his dead friends. Think about how you would feel."

Naruto's head sank.

"I wouldn't know. I don't have friends," he muttered spitefully. I grabbed his face with my good hand and forced him to look at me.

"You got at least one, buddy," I said. Naruto's stomach growled like a small dog I always wanted to kick.

"Hey," I continued, "We're all a team, _all_ of us. If we fail, we fail together. Right, Sasuke?" Sasuke frowned, but he looked available for friendship. I pulled out my last granola bar and unwrapped it.

"Here," I ran over Naruto's protests, "I don't care if we get in trouble."

"He's no use if he's hungry," Sasuke agreed with a nod. He opened a boxed lunch and held it out for Naruto.

"Th-thanks guys," he said with tears in his eyes. He could be a real dork.

Naruto took a bite.

The next thing I knew, the sky had gone dark and thunder and lightning filled the air - Kakashi returned and he wove a sign.

"**YOU!**"

My heart raced in my chest. I'd had enough.

"You broke the rules! I hope you're ready for the consequences!"

My remaining patience snapped like a twig.

"Can it, Kakashi! What did you want us to do, exactly? Did you want us to work together or not, because if you can't make up your mind I don't think we'll be a very good team!"

"Yeah!" Naruto added, "You said the goal of this thing was to be a team, right? They just gave me their food because otherwise we couldn't work together!"

"Go ahead and fail us!" I yelled, praying he'd do the opposite, "At least we'll do it as a team!" I shrunk inwardly at my phrasing, but I didn't back down.

The storm cleared and Kakashi folded his arms behind his back. To my surprise, he chuckled.

"You pass."

"We… what?" Sasuke started.

"You. Pass."

I could hardly dare to believe it.

"Congratulations," Kakashi said, and he gave us a thumbs-up, "None of the other students ever tried to work together - they followed my directions to the letter, and none of them ever succeeded."

"So the bells-"

"Were a red herring. They don't mean anything," he said, tucking them into his pocket. "I wanted a team who would defy orders and back up their teammates.

"In the world of ninja, people who break the rules are treated as scum, that's true. But people who abandon their friends are even worse than scum."

He was an okay guy after all. I could follow him - his principles aligned with mine, at least. His methods were harsh, but the truth often was.

"We pass," Naruto sighed; he looked like he was about to cry. When I thought about it, I kind of wanted to cry too. It had been a hellish hour-and-a-half.

"Let's go home," Kakashi said. He and Sasuke turned to go.

"Don't you live on the other side of town?" I wondered aloud. He shrugged.

"It's a figure of speech, Hika."

I cut Naruto loose and we all left the grounds.


	3. A Big-Small Secret

**I apologize for the relative briefness of this chapter; my computer is on the fritz, but thankfully I can still post.**

**Updates every Saturday.**

* * *

><p>I had a team again.<p>

Inoue and Ato were only a distant, useless memory. I could safely store them away next to the smatterings of verbal abuse from my academy days.

However, my joy was slightly overshadowed by a new social obstacle- I'd be spending a lot of time with them in the near and far future. I'd have to tell them at some point. I couldn't picture myself _not_ telling them, because I'd already imagined doing it dozens of times. It had only been a week.

We'd spent it doing odd jobs and errands around the village, getting a feel for each other's strengths, testing out our synchrony. Unfortunately, I was good enough to know that if I didn't share my little secret, my distracted mind wouldn't do my team any favors. I pictured it again; my face blanketed with sweat, bright red, a stumbling heart, and my mouth refusing to cooperate with my commands; Naruto's reaction - stupefied, confused, indifferent, and angry. I wasn't worried about Sasuke. We weren't exactly joined at the hip. I could withstand his disapproval. Kakashi would be the worst. He was the adult of the group; who knew how much his disapproval would affect me. At least my hand had healed.

"Hika!" Kakashi's voice over the headset shocked me out of my reverie. He sounded like he'd repeated himself.

"I'm at point B!" I said quickly. I kicked myself for losing focus; exactly what I'd been afraid of.

"Slow, Hika," he admonished, "Wait -I've got movement!"

A shadow danced in front of me and before I could give chase, a flash of yellow and orange raced after it. I relaxed and stared into the depths of the forest; I sucked the inside of my cheek. I liked the woods. Very green, very calm-

"I got it! I got it!" he shouted and I pulled the headset out before he could shatter my eardrum. The woods were naturally quiet, and ninja usually added to that silence. Naruto possessed no such inhibitions. Covertness be damned, he had to be center-stage. I didn't hate him for it, but sometimes I wished he would act his age; maybe a little courtesy wouldn't go amiss. Some ninja actively _sought_ _out_ peace, instead of ruining it for others.

"Confirm red bow on ear."

"Red bow confirmed, housecat Tora is in custody," Sasuke said. Naruto and Sasuke trotted off to return the cat and Kakashi cornered me against an elm.

"Hika, are you okay? You seem a little out of it."

I couldn't stop my face from blushing bright red. My throat was stoppered. The tree's bark had a very interesting pattern, small eddies of cellulose in its surface. They could almost put someone to sleep.

"Not - not really. I'm sorry, sensei. I lost focus; it won't happen again."

He nodded, unconvinced but merciful, and started to leave. I made an involuntary noise of protest that sounded like a sigh. I regretted it an instant later, but I pressed on.

"Wait-" And he did.

"Kakashi-sensei, it's - it's not bad or anything, but…" I wondered when someone had had time to wire my heart to a lightning rod.

"Okay," he said, gently leading me along.

"It's embarrassing." That was only a small part of it; the actual feeling was akin to mind-numbing, rib-cracking, suffocating terror. But that seemed too extreme to say out loud.

I looked down at the ground. I'd built myself up too much; I was toppling over a crevice and now I was staring at the bottom. It was a long way down. I swallowed and took a step back from the edge.

"Never mind."

* * *

><p>I didn't disagree with Naruto's puerile screams; we were doing useless missions. First the gardening, now catnapping? I added my assent to Sasuke's - we needed a real mission. I was concerned that anything above a D-rank would throw off our teamwork, for obvious reasons, but ultimately the whole team knew that babysitting wouldn't prepare us for the real world.<p>

"So, Naruto wants a real mission, does he?" Lord Sarutobi mused, drawing a puff from his pipe, "Iruka, please sit down. I think I understand. Naruto wants us to know that he isn't a brat anymore, so he wants to prove it to us. I say we let him.

"Very well. This time only, I will give you a C-rank mission."

Naruto was over the moon. His change of mood was alarming. In between his celebratory shouts, I could make out Lord Sarutobi's next sentence,

"You will be escorting someone to the Land of Waves."

"Oh who are we escorting? Are they important? Is it a princess? A noble guy?" I wouldn't mind a princess, but saying that out loud would've sounded very gay; literally.

"Bring in our visitor," Lord Hokage called to someone outside. The door opened, and we held our breath. On the other side of the door was our future as Team 7, and Naruto could barely contain his excitement.

The world's drunkest man swaggered in with a beer bottle in his hand.

"Is this it?" he griped, gesturing to us with a wide sweep of his arm.

"Well, I don't know what I expected," I said to Naruto, which about covered my thoughts on the matter. He looked disappointed about the lack of "princess" in the room. I would've argued Sasuke had more "princess" in him than Yukiko from the Land of Snow, but Sasuke might not have approved, so I kept my thoughts to myself.

"I am Tazuna, the bridge builder," he said, taking a swig from his bottle.

"We have to escort _this_ old geezer?"

"Naruto, have some respect," Iruka-sensei asserted, though clearly he didn't have a high opinion of our charge either.

"I will if he does," Naruto muttered, but I heard him. Tazuna disappointed us.

"You're a ninja?" Tazuna said, "I'd believe you if you weren't so puny and brightly colored."

"I wonder who he's talking to," Naruto mused aloud, and I slapped my forehead. I counted four seconds before his expression changed from bemused to furious.

"And dimwitted, apparently," Tazuna added. _Well he's right about that_.

"Sir, respectfully, if you want our protection, it helps if you don't insult us," I said, and I succeeded in sounding calm and dismissive.

Tazuna huffed. Kakashi raised his eyebrows at me and I gave a sheepish smile. I was still recovering from the deep blush I'd picked up earlier.

"We'll leave immediately."

* * *

><p><strong>EDIT: Following some advice. Hika backs down and retreats inward. Oh well.<strong>

**Now it's even shorter, but it was a necessary change. New post Saturday will be twice as long as this one.**


	4. First Real Mission

I wasn't even totally sure where we were going. I'd never left the village before - because I'd never needed to, and my parents were paranoid about this sort of thing - and I prayed Kakashi, or at least Tazuna, knew the way. It didn't help my uncertainty that Naruto was mouthing off to everyone.

"You know, I really don't think the Land of Waves isn't all that great," he said, _apropos_ of nothing. "What good is a ninja village if it's in the middle of an ocean?"

I expected Tazuna to go off on a drunken rant, but what he did was even worse.

"Yes, I'm afraid I have to agree with you," he said sullenly. "We - we aren't a very wealthy nation, simply because we're isolated. That's why I'm building my bridge. It will be the first to connect the Land of Waves to the mainland, and in time, it will bring commerce and prosperity. If it is allowed to come to fruition."

"Allowed?" I echoed. The word choice was strange to me. "Allowed by who?"

"Whom," Kakashi corrected. I scowled.

"It was merely a figure of speech," Tazuna said, perhaps a little too quickly. I shrugged it off. His business was his business, so long as it didn't interfere with our mission.

"Hey Hika," Naruto asked, clearly not listening, "have you ever been out of the village? I mean, you had a team before us, right?"

"Yeah, I did, but we mostly did small fry jobs."

"Like catnapping?"

"I wish; they weren't even _that_ exciting."

"That sounds awful."

"It definitely wasn't fun." I heard Tazuna mutter something about "inexperienced". Thankfully, Naruto didn't hear him so I let it pass for now. Tazuna chucked his empty beer bottle into the woods. I glared at him.

"Litterbug," I muttered.

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stick up and I turned around. I glanced at Kakashi. He nodded slightly and kept walking. My mouth had gone dry and suddenly I couldn't swallow. I carefully turned back around, adjusted my pack, and put my hand on my shurikan holster. I saw Sasuke flick his eyes towards me; I must've looked worried, because he looked at Kakashi next to confirm. It wasn't just my imagination.

_We're being followed_.

My limbs felt heavy and warm, and I wanted to rip the tape off my arms. My skin was irritated, prickling with electric fear. I was itching for a fight.

A flash in the corner of my eye made me twist my head toward Kakashi. A grinding of chains alerted me, but I was weighed down by invisible pressure. I stood there, frozen, as razor chains wrapped around Kakashi-sensei and tore him in half.

I did what any sane person would've done. I panicked. In that moment, I wasn't a ninja; I was a frightened child, facing real danger for the first time, wide-eyed and motionless. It felt entirely too surreal at first, like the whole thing was happening in slow-motion. I was hypnotized by the grace with which the two ninja, cloaked in black, ripped Kakashi in two, and sped toward Tazuna.

And yet, even in that trance-like state, when I could feel every painful beat of my heart, I somehow didn't detect the movement of my own legs. In that moment, I was actually more confused by myself than the attackers. Why was I moving? _Where_ was I moving? If someone had asked me right then, I wouldn't have been able to answer. But I moved, wordlessly, fearfully, into the path of certain death without a weapon in my hand. I closed my eyes. I punched.

Imagine my surprise when I felt the impact of bone-on-bone, as my knuckles made direct contact with the ninja's face and sent him flying backwards a full foot before he righted himself and landed on the ground. I heard his footsteps, like the quiet pitter-patter of door mice, rush at me once more. _Shit._ I had barely even hurt him!

His footfalls came to an abrupt stop with two thunks of wood. By the sound - _shurikan_. I took a peek through my eyelids. _The chain_. Someone had nailed the chain to a tree - _Sasuke_. It was smart, but not smart enough. The chains broke with a metallic clang and the footsteps resumed, this time twofold. They were both headed for Tazuna. I swallowed hard and readied another punch.

Two very un-ninja-like grunts accompanied the arrival of another person, whose presence I recognized. I sighed with relief.

"Kakashi-sensei."

I opened my eyes and, true to form, he had a ninja under each arm, both knocked out by the looks of them.

"Hi," he said with the air of a guy who had just walked into a party fifteen minutes late. I had half a mind to give him a lecture, but I doubted I could string two words together in my present state, unless they were "fuck" and "you".

"Naruto, sorry I didn't help you back there. I didn't want you to get hurt, but I didn't expect you to freeze up like that," he said. It was only when I turned away from the chunin that I realized Naruto was nursing a wound on his hand. He hadn't moved; he looked like he was still processing everything.

"Hika, Sasuke, good job," he said. I felt vague pride stir in my chest, but I kept my attention on Naruto. He had panicked, just like I had. I bit my lip and was about to offer some stirring words when-

"Hey," Sasuke sneered, "you're not hurt are you? _Scaredy-cat._" It took me a critical second to realize he wasn't talking to me. Anger welled up in me.

I should've slapped him, but instead I said, "Sasuke, shut up." It was lame, not even a real comeback, but it worked just a little - Sasuke gave me a solid glare. He looked like he was about to say something to make me shit my pants, but Kakashi cut him off.

"Naruto, don't move," he said urgently. "These ninja have poison in their claws. We need to take it out of you quickly. The more your heart beats, the faster it spreads, so try not to move - or panic."

Kakashi tied the guys to a tree, slapped them awake, and started to question them. I decided to give them names: Leftie and Grimy.

"I take it you're chunin from Kiri - the Hidden Mist village."

"How do you know about our ambush?" Grimy rasped.

"Let's chock it up to good battle sense. A puddle, on the road, when it hasn't rained in weeks?" Kakashi admonished lightly.

I hadn't seen the puddle; I should have been paying more attention. I berated myself.

"What do you want with Konoha shinobi?"

They didn't respond.

"I'd answer quickly," he continued, holding up a kunai, "or you might find yourself suddenly short a few fingers."

_I am _so _glad he's on our side. _I thought to myself with a shiver.

"We weren't after you," Leftie hissed.

"We wanted the bridge builder," Grimy said. I turned to Tazuna and tried to gauge his reaction. He was frightened, probably because he'd just been attacked, but I couldn't discern any surprise. _Had he been expecting this?_

"As I thought. Thank you," Kakashi said courteously. He took out a scroll and nailed it to the tree with a kunai. "Some ninja will be here soon to escort you to Konoha."

_They're going to interrogate them for real at the village._ I almost felt sorry for them.

We started walking again. When we were out of earshot of the chunin, Kakashi asked Tazuna, "Why didn't you tell us there were enemy ninja after you?"

Tazuna struggled with an answer.

"When you put in a request with us, you said you wanted standard protection on your journey, from common robbers and highwaymen. As a result, the mission was given a C rank. It would've been ranked a B or higher if we knew this; we would've charged and staffed accordingly. It was irresponsible of you to put your safety in the hands of these genin."

"Hey, we handled them, didn't we?" I said indignantly.

"Hika, we only handled them after _I_ got involved. What if I hadn't been there?"

The question stole the words from my mouth. I looked dumbly at the ground and contemplated the outcome - three genin, with the burden of protecting a charge, versus two unfettered chunin. It wasn't good.

"Anyway, that's not the point. You put their lives in danger as well as your own," Kakashi continued. He was aggravated.

"It's not that simple," Tazuna said. "I told you; the Land of Waves is very poor. We couldn't have afforded to pay for a B-rank mission."

A pause. A bird chirped northwest of our position.

"I see."

No one was really at fault, and that only made it worse.

"Our only option is to return to the village," Kakashi said. "This mission is beyond our capabilities. Naruto's wound poses an additional problem. He needs to be treated by a medical ninja right away."

Naruto reacted to this statement in an alarming way, though in retrospect, I shouldn't have been surprised.

He took a kunai knife and plunged it directly into the cut in a bloody display that seemed to strike me as well. The knife went in an inch and sent out a splatter of deep red; I cringed at his pained yell.

"Why am I always so… arg!" he cried disjointedly. He stood there, dripping, for several seconds. "I've tried so hard to make it here. I trained 'til I couldn't stand. I didn't do all that so I could… _freeze_ like a… like a rabbit! I swear, upon this wound, that I will never give up. I'll protect you wih my life, bridge builder. And I will not lose to Sasuke."

My eyes widened. His determination and self-confidence bordered on masochism, and it still daunted me. I couldn't picture doing that to myself.

"Naruto, that was really cool how you took the poison out, but if we don't bandage that hand you're going to die," Kakashi said. He ruined a great moment, but he was also right. Naruto started to panic. I opened my pack and took his bloody hand in mine. I started to wrap it in gauze. The motion seemed to calm him.

"You're a real knucklehead, you know that?" I was grinning again. "I'm starting to think you're a glutton for punishment." But he wasn't listening; he was glaring past me at Sasuke, as if to say, "Think I'm a scaredy-cat now? Your turn, bad boy."

I tied off the bandage and taped it.

"That should be good for now." I snapped my fingers in front of his eyes. "Hey, you listening? Change this twice a day, 'kay?"

"Okay."

"Can we keep going, just for a little while?" I asked Kakashi. He took mercy on me - or maybe he didn't.

"Just a little while," he echoed, and we kept walking.

* * *

><p>We took a canoe from the coast through the fog and drifted to the shoreline of Kiri. Kakashi took a breath and broke the silence.<p>

"Mr. Tazuna, before we continue, I need to know why there are people after you," he said. "If you don't tell us, I'm afraid you'll have to make the rest of your journey by yourself."

Tazuna considered that for a moment.

"Very well. You were right in saying that this is beyond the scope of the original mission. You see, the Land of Waves is under the thumb of a powerful, ruthless businessman. He is a very short man, who casts a very long shadow. This is the man who seeks my life. His name is Gato."

"Of Gato Transport? Everyone knows him. Why does he want you dead?" Kakashi asked.

"The bridge that I'm building, the bridge meant to connect the our land to yours, will bring wealth to my country. Wealth at the cost of Gato's profits. He has a monopoly on the entire transport industry in the Land of Waves, and he is one of the richest men in the world because of it. He hasn't earned any of his money; he obtained it by exploiting my people, and with this bridge, we may finally be free of him," Tazuna said. His head fell. "Personally, I wouldn't blame you if you abandoned me. But then, the entire Land of Waves would continue to suffer. And of course, my grandson would be beside himself with grief if he found out I had died at Gato's hands. And my daughter would curse Konoha shinobi for causing my death and leaving her without a father."

I stared at Kakashi in disbelief, searching for a lifeline. He couldn't expect us to go with Tazuna and fight off more enemy ninja, did he?

Apparently so. The guilt trip appeared to have worked on all of us (except Sasuke, because he didn't have a soul).

"Since the entire country is at stake," Kakashi said sardonically, "I guess we have no other choice. We'll guard you until you reach your destination."

* * *

><p>We stepped off the boat in unison. Gradually, the mist faded and the path in front of us became clear.<p>

Naruto was on edge as soon as his feet hit land. He jumped at everything, and threw shurikan like he was giving out candy at Tanabata. I rolled my eyes until my optic nerves ached with the strain.

A shrub rustled, and I barely counted a second before Naruto blindly shot a kunai knife at the sound. I didn't even blink when he realized he'd almost murdered a rabbit, not a deadly assassin.

"Cute rabbit," I mused. It was white, unusual for the area. I kept walking, blissfully unaware of impending danger until a sword the size of a steel girder spun across our path and embedded itself in a tree three inches from my nose.

**Next week, Zabuza.**


	5. Demon of the Mist

"Well well, if it isn't Zabuza Mamochi, rogue ninja of Kirigakure."

I saw Naruto attempt to rush at the dark figure in the tree, but Kakashi put an arm in front of him.

"You're in the way."

_Why do I know that name?_ I thought to myself. If he was a rogue ninja, his name would be in the bingo book, which was probably where I'd seen it; I read everything. _Come to think of it, isn't Kakashi in the book too? _I tried to picture his entry, but I came up dry. My mind wasn't functioning.

"Stay back, all of you!"

"But why?" Naruto griped.

"He's a jonin, same rank as me. You three," he said to us, "manji formation. Protect the bridge builder." He brought a hand up to his headband. "If he's our opponent, I'll need this."

"Kakashi Hatake of the Sharingan," Zabuza mused in a gravelly voice, "did I get that right?"

I knew that word too, but this time I couldn't place it. Kakashi pushed his headband up and revealed a thin scar over his left eye, which opened. The iris gleamed bright red in the gathering mist. I looked closer and saw three black raindrops around the pupil. I had seen it before, on the forgotten page of a long-lost textbook about special ninjutsu.

"Kekkei Genkai," I muttered to myself.

"Sharingan," Sasuke said. "Is Kakashi planning to reflect Zabuza's attacks back on him?"

"Don't look at me," Naruto said. "This is the first time I'm hearing it. What is it?"

"A dojutsu. It's used to learn and replicate attacks; the Sharingan lets a person instantly comprehend any jutsu used on them and reflect it back. But then, there's a lot more to the Sharingan than that."

"You got it right, kid," Zabuza said, turning to face us. "But then, I think that's enough talk, don't you? I'm here for the bridge builder. Hand him over and I'll make your deaths quick."

I thought of a retort and, unusual for me, I analyzed it _before_ it came out of my mouth. It wouldn't piss him off any more than he was at the moment, but it would draw his attention. I swallowed and felt my arms start to prickle. I didn't want him to mark me as a target, but we were guarding Tazuna, so theoretically I couldn't end up in a worse situation.

I was standing in front of a mountain.

"How gracious of you." The sarcastic words were forced from my mouth by his atmospheric presence. My mouth curled into a sneer in spite of my twisting insides.

Zabuza's eyes flicked to me and narrowed. I withstood his glare.

"Shove it, Mamochi."

That was it. Those would be the last words I ever spoke. He would cut us in half with one swing of his unreasonably large sword, and my last words would be a command to put his words up his ass. Fear leaked into my face, and I couldn't control the slipping scowl. I saw Kakashi's head turned in my direction, but only in my peripherals; Zabuza's gaze held me prisoner with small, black, bottomless eyes. I stared into death itself, and strangely, my consciousness started to drift; my vision narrowed - in front of me lay two pits of total hopelessness, and I fell through black until I had a moment of total clarity:

I was prey.

In desperate effort, I shut my eyes and released myself. I could still feel his presence, the energy he gave off by simply standing on that tree branch, but I was free from his glare. I almost collapsed in relief.

"Hika," Kakashi's voice drew my attention, "let me deal with him."

I nodded. My fingers twitched over my shurikan holster.

"Good luck with that." The voice behind me almost sounded like Tazuna. For a moment, I almost convinced myself it was.

Zabuza was an inch from my ear. My heart seized, but my eyes stayed closed. I hadn't heard his approach with the blood pumping loudly in my skull.

In my terror, I lashed out.

He caught my fist, and I heard the sword sing as it swung. With my left hand, I made a desperate half-sign and ripped my right hand free. In a puff of smoke, I was sitting in a near tree, a log in my place. He slashed the log clean in half with a _thunk_ and shouted wordlessly in frustration. I sensed him become still. Ears pricked, I heard slight breathing - Kakashi's - emanating from Zabuza's last-known position.

"You're done," Kakashi said. I opened my eyes. Kakashi was behind Zabuza with a kunai to his throat. With a slash, my heart leapt, only to be slammed down to the ground when, a moment later, the shrill song of Zabuza's sword reappeared to slice Kakashi in half. But then I saw the shadow of spray wasn't blood - it was water.

"Water clones," I sighed in relief, "both of them."

The two jonin had survived. Zabuza threw a kick and shot Kakashi clear across the nearby pond. I heard him swear as he dropped into the water.

"Shit. Hika, Sasuke, Naruto - you need to go now!" he shouted.

Zabuza flashed a sign. "Water prison jutsu!" Water swirled around Kakashi, enclosed him, and formed a churning sphere.

"Guys!" I screamed. Another water clone had appeared only feet from my teammates.

Naruto got the hint and a dozen shadow clones poofed into existence.

"Stop right there!" he shouted. They piled onto Zabuza's clone and for a beautiful moment I believed it would work. A moment later, though, they'd been thrown in the air with one wave of the huge sword.

I leapt into the fray, taking advantage of the distraction; Sasuke had the same idea, having recovered from his frozen state, and descended with me, kunai in hand.

A pain crushed down on my throat. Zabuza's hand wrapped around my windpipe like a python. I grabbed and clawed at it and made a gurgling in the back of my mouth. My vision grew red. It blurred more with each passing second; I saw Sasuke's vague shape in Zabuza's other arm. He was going to strangle us to death. I struggled against him, undulating my body, kicking and punching with every last drop of strength. I fought for my consciousness like it was the rope dangling from a very high cliff.

No. No, it was less like hanging, more like drowning - as the oxygen seeped out of my bloodstream, the world lost focus and became fuzzy fragments, without meaning or… _Or what?_ I had been thinking of something, now it was gone like a string yanked out of my ear. The pressure intensified and my lungs burned and shriveled as hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

I still had something to say. Words had been left unsaid, abandoned halfway between thought and action, and I couldn't remember what they'd been. I chased after their imprint, all concern for my life moved to the back of my mind. What did I need to say?

The pressure slipped from my neck and I felt the air rush against me as I fell and met the ground, which was strangely soft. I barely felt the impact. I was dizzy, and jumbled inside - I couldn't remember anything. Zabuza was a gray blur in my limited vision. _Zabuza._ Yes, I knew him. He'd almost killed me a second ago. Now I was on the floor. Or was it the ground? _Where are we? _I wondered aimlessly. I drifted with the mist.

* * *

><p>A sharp pain in my stomach woke me. I curled and grunted.<p>

"Weaklings, all of you," a cruel voice said, and he kicked again. I cried out and he rested his foot on my chest.

"Naruto, stay with Tazuna," I heard Sasuke say. Feeling had returned to my limbs, but I stayed down. I'd wait until I had an advantage, when I could take him by surprise. I gave a fake moan, but to my chagrin, the pain it expressed was real.

"Someone's awake, I see," he sneered. His foot pressed harder. My heartbeat accelerated, and I was terrified he'd cracked my ribs. I knotted my eyebrows; I didn't have to work hard to force a tear.

"No way," Naruto yelled back, "I'm gonna save Hika!"

"Don't be an idiot!"

"Do you have a better idea?"

Sasuke's silence was his disheartening answer. I forced my eyes open and blinked at him twice. He remained unreadable. My hand crept from the foot on my chest to my thigh.

In a single, savage motion I whipped a kunai out of my holster and plunged it into Zabuza's ankle. His joint gave a jarring, satisfying crunch before the body burst and drenched me in a puddle of cold water.

Now fully awake, I pushed to my feet and shook out my hair. Sasuke and Naruto were already moving. I sprinted between them, back to the bridge builder, in a flawless position-reversal that would've brought Iruka-sensei to tears.

Naruto brought out more shadow clones and rushed at the real Zabuza. They were repelled instantly and Naruto responded by throwing Sasuke a black instrument. Without missing a beat Sasuke unfurled the large shurikan and hurled it, with perfect aim, straight at Zabuza.

He caught it, but now there was another - hidden in the shadow of the first, the second sped toward its target. He leapt into the air to dodge, and the shurikan passed harmlessly between him and the surface.

It went up in smoke to reveal Naruto, already throwing. A kunai shot towards Zabuza. He pulled his hand free from Kakashi's prison, fury now palpable, and spun the first shurikan in his fingers with audible force.

"DIE!"

A sickening clash of metal on metal pealed through the air. The shurikan's motion had been interrupted with enough force that it was canceled out. It had come in contact with the guard of Kakashi's glove.

"**Just try it.**"

Goosebumps racked my body at his chilling words. Kakashi had been freed from the prison by Sasuke and Naruto's complex plan; it had worked.

"It was a fluke," Tazuna grunted. "It was luck - that's all it was."

_You can call it that, but it doesn't change the fact that they almost beat him._

I would've said it, but it was all I could do not to double over and start hyperventilating.

Zabuza and Kakashi leapt apart, speeding away to separate ends of the pond, mist whirling peaceably between them as they flashed a series of hand signs. I sensed their chakras swell and focus in the water.

"Water style: Water dragon jutsu!" they shouted in unison. Water rose and coiled around them two, ten-foot thick columns. I stepped back, hugging my stomach, intimidated by the dragon-shaped waves.

In a swift splash, their water dragons canceled each other out. Zabuza was startled. Kakashi made "tori", and hurricane-force winds whipped up a vortex behind him that enlarged and blasted Zabuza downstream in the blink of an eye. I braced myself against the wind and spray, eyes squinted. I saw Naruto's sprout of yellow hair wash away. Kakashi and Sasuke tore after them. I resisted the urge to follow - Tazuna needed to be protected. I made a sign and clone puffed up next to me. Wordlessly, it took a position behind Tazuna to watch our backs.

I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach.

"Shit," I gasped, "too much chakra."

The world took a dive, and I blacked out.

* * *

><p>I came to, presumably, a few minutes later. Naruto was leaning over me.<p>

"Thank god," he sighed. "Hika, sensei's out like a light - we need your help to carry him."

"We'll get him to my house," came Tazuna's gruff voice. I sat up, still groggy.

"Come on," Naruto ushered.

"What happened?" I asked. I steadied myself and followed him, bleary-eyed, downstream. Naruto "hmphed".

"This ninja kid came outta nowhere and took him out."

"Kakashi?"

"No. Zabuza," he hissed and looked down at his feet. "He did it so… so easily! He only used two needles!"

I didn't know what to say to that. I'd missed Zabuza's death.

"Oh well," I murmured, heart falling. I hadn't done anything except get caught and stab a water clone.

Naruto held out a hand. I took it and let him pull me up. We walked down the bank, occasionally stopping when my vision got too spotty.

I saw Sasuke and Tazuna's familiar shapes gradually appear through the mist. Kakashi was flat on his stomach and out like a light.

"What happened to him?" I asked.

"He just... collapsed," Naruto said.

"Chakra exhaustion," Sasuke said. "The Sharingan takes a lot of chakra to use, especially since…" He trailed off.

"Where's Zabuza?" I asked.

"The kid took him," Sasuke replied dully.

I draped Kakashi's arm around my shoulders and tried to haul him up off the ground. My knees gave out. Tazuna took sensei's other arm and helped me lift him.

"He's surprisingly heavy," I growled.

"It's not far to my home," Tazuna said. "If we hurry, we can get there before nightfall."


End file.
